Current:Home > reviewsShe's a Democrat. He's a Republican. Can love conquer all? -Capitatum
She's a Democrat. He's a Republican. Can love conquer all?
Rekubit Exchange View
Date:2025-04-06 05:44:03
He was a boy. She was a girl. Can we make it any more obvious?
We're talking about Samantha and Andy Miller, a couple of St. Louis natives who caught each other's attention at a casino toward the end of 2009.
"It was just one of those things where we met and it was instant, and we were inseparable ever since," Samantha, 37, tells me. He proposed two years later, they got married and welcomed two kids, a now 7-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son.
Perfect. Except for one thing: She's a Democrat. He's a Republican.
"It didn't seem to be that big of a deal until 2016," she says, referencing the bitter battle between former President Donald Trump and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. When Samantha recently posted a video about the political differences between them, it quickly went viral. Thousands told her to get a divorce and that her husband is the devil. (She has since made her account private.)
"That's not fair, because he's amazing," she says, an "awesome human being. I love him, but it's been hard to navigate it."
Marriages across political lines are common enough, sure. But the 2016 election ignited a fire of political divisiveness that no one has figured out how to extinguish. The Millers, however, seem to make their marriage work anyway − most of the time.
Why? As cliché as it sounds, they've found that their love for each other and their family outweighs political tension, though many don't understand how that's possible.
"If it weren't for him believing in me I wouldn't be the person I am today," Samantha says. Andy, 40, adds, "You're a team, and the only way to be successful as a team is to work together."
'There's crazy rhetoric that's going around'
The pair didn't think much of their political differences when they met. They believed what their families believed.
"I was just a young girl in her 20s without a care in the world," Samantha says. "At that moment, I knew what I leaned towards, but I never dug hard into different policies."
That's changed as issues have bubbled to the surface, and particularly when Trump ran for president. "It's hard for me to look at someone like Trump and respect them and want them to be the face of the country, let alone look at all the people that I do love that are applauding him," Samantha says.
Andy, an Air Force veteran who served in Iraq, has always voted on policy that affects – in his view – how he can take care of his family and himself.
"I can't really control anything else that happens outside of that bubble or that circle," he says. Perhaps that's where they differ most: "He's definitely more worried about money in his pocket, and his family, where I'm more worried about the world," Samantha says.
This divisiveness has brought out the worst in some. As Andy puts it: "If you don't align with a certain person's views, there's crazy rhetoric that's going around where it labels people as like, 'oh, you're a dangerous person because you don't believe in the same thing I believe in,' or 'you want my rights taken away' with people that you never even have even met or talked with."
In case you missed:Trump's appearance, that speech and the problem with speculating about a public figure's health
'We have set boundaries now'
As opposite as their voting patterns have been, they see eye-to-eye on more than you might imagine. Andy isn't completely against abortion, for example.
"That has been an argument, because, yes, he does support it, but he chooses to vote differently, so that does cause a fight," Samantha says. The pair went through IVF for their second child.
What causes most of their strife is the bashing of the other's party. If he likes something on Facebook that calls Democrats stupid, for example, she points out he's married to one.
"We have set boundaries now," she says. "We don't outwardly post anything political, or anything like that."
Both claim to be open-minded. "I'm not hardcore right, I'm not hardcore left, I'm kind of in the middle," Andy says, "and could be swayed if policy fit what I was looking for." It just hasn't happened yet.
Did you see?Kamala Harris, Megyn Kelly and why the sexist attacks are so dangerous
'Don't want to change who he is'
How has their 15-year relationship sustained all the heavy political headwinds? Talking it out, and appreciating one another.
"We're very good at communication," she says. "We've always been able to sit down with each other and really communicate our point." Plus, "we are 100% equal partners" and "he truly loves spending time with his kids."
"We try to make sure that we put most of our attention and our focus into making sure that they have a great childhood," Andy says.
Samantha says he is one of the hardest working people she's ever met, and most loyal. Funny, handsome, a great father. Their personalities mesh well.
"I'm definitely outgoing, and he's quiet and reserved, and we definitely balance each other in that way," she says.
They're not perfect, of course, hence why she blew off some steam in that TikTok. But she was shocked after her video went viral and how many people said it resonated. "I've had talks with quite a few people, and all of us said the same thing to each other, like, you can message me if you need someone to talk to," she says. Maybe they could go to an island every four years until the election ends, some joked.
Still, she loves that her kids will be raised with divergent views, and neither plan to push any agenda on them.
"I also don't want to change who he is," she adds. "I will always love him and respect him, but I also, I think that's the issue in America right now, is people are so unaccepting of anybody with different views."
veryGood! (418)
Related
- Taylor Swift makes surprise visit to Kansas City children’s hospital
- The future of crypto hinges on a fight between the SEC and a former burger flipper
- Lt. Gov. Sheila Oliver remembered in a memorial service as fighter for those in need
- FTX founder Sam Bankman-Fried jailed by federal judge for alleged witness tampering
- Are Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp down? Meta says most issues resolved after outages
- Video shows hissing snake found in Arizona woman's toilet: My worst nightmare
- Jennifer Hudson's 14-Year-Old Son David Looks All Grown Up in Birthday Video
- Harry Kane leaves Tottenham for Bayern Munich in search of trophies
- Scoot flight from Singapore to Wuhan turns back after 'technical issue' detected
- Shanna Moakler Shares Her Dad Has Died Months After Her Mom's Death
Ranking
- Megan Fox's ex Brian Austin Green tells Machine Gun Kelly to 'grow up'
- Robert De Niro’s Daughter Shares Heartbreaking Message on Late Son Leandro’s 20th Birthday
- Historic Maria Lanakila Catholic Church still stands after fires in Lahaina, Maui
- Al Michaels on Orioles TV controversy: 'Suspend the doofus that suspended Kevin Brown'
- North Carolina justices rule for restaurants in COVID
- Lower age limits, eye-popping bonuses: Lifeguard recruitment goes hardcore
- Caring for people with fentanyl addiction often means treating terrible wounds
- The failed Ohio amendment reflects Republican efforts nationally to restrict direct democracy
Recommendation
What do we know about the mysterious drones reported flying over New Jersey?
Fatal house fire kills 1 teenager and 2 adults in North Carolina’s Outer Banks
The failed Ohio amendment reflects Republican efforts nationally to restrict direct democracy
Move over, 'Barbie': Why 'Red, White & Royal Blue' is the gayest movie this summer
IOC's decision to separate speed climbing from other disciplines paying off
Vanna White will be absent from some 'Wheel of Fortune' episodes next season: Here's why
Save up to $250 on the new Samsung Galaxy Watch 6 at Best Buy
Linda Evangelista Gives Rare Insight Into Co-Parenting Bond With Salma Hayek