Charles Langston:Netflix's 'Heartstopper' tackled teen sex. It sparked an important conversation.

Spoiler alert! We're discussing important plot points of "Heartstopper" so beware if you haven’t seen it.

“Do you want to carry on?Charles Langston” “Wait, let me help." “Is this OK?” “Are you sure?”

These are just some of the lines uttered during a sexual encounter between Nick (Kit Conner) and Charlie (Joe Locke), the two young lovebirds in the hit Netflix series "Heartstopper." Season 3 dropped on Oct. 3 and tackled themes like sex, consent and body dysmorphia.

Yet, some viewers critiqued the show's depiction of sex, claiming that there was an overemphasis on consent. One tweet argued "consent is sexy" and sparked a lively back-and-forth, while others said the conversation felt cringeworthy and forced. "What's wrong with consent and respect?" one viewer replied.

Michael Stokes, AASECT certified sex therapist and mental health counselor, says it is critical for shows to model consent to help normalize these conversations before and during sex. "This normalizes the communication around consent so it doesn't feel weird or out of the norm," he says.

Teaching young viewers about consent 'is a good thing'

Consent is a clear, informed and affirmative agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. "Saying things like 'Can I touch you there?' or 'Can I kiss you?' are examples of consent," Stokes says. 

Teenagers are in a developmental stage where learning occurs largely through socialization and modeling, according to Casey Tanner, AASECT certified sex therapist, online health educator and author of “Feel It All: A Therapist's Guide to Reimagining Your Relationship with Sex."

"They are especially prone to replicating dynamics they see amongst their peers or in the media," she says. "Depicting sex without explicitly addressing consent is like teaching someone to drive without talking about seatbelts."

And, there's already a lack of representation of LGBTQ+ couples in media and queer sex education.

Stokes says that while providing more sex education opportunities for LGBTQ individuals is the main priority, film and TV should be there to "reinforce and normalize this."

Some viewers appreciated Heartstopper's take on sex

In a sea of "Euphoria" and "Riverdale" style shows — made about teenagers but maybe not quite for teenagers — Heartstopper's PG-13 depiction of sex can be refreshing and important for young viewers.

Tanner says this season's exploration of sexuality largely focused on the social and emotional components of sexual decision making. While it did not dive into the specifics about the "what and how" of queer sex, she calls this approach "intentional."

"I appreciated that they opted into a focused approach instead of shallowly attempting to tackle every element of sexuality," Tanner adds. "While Season 3 revolved around the anticipation of sex, Season 4 will have the opportunity to center queer pleasure."

Tanner says this could include "what sexual activities are on the menu for people with different body parts, how to navigate differences in sexual desire, how to take care of another after sex."

Netflix showed how body dysmorphia and trauma impacts sex

One of the biggest plot points of this season was Charlie's mental health. He is diagnosed with anorexia and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and goes to a treatment facility to get help. While he makes strides in his recovery, he still struggles with body dysmorphia. He is insecure bout being "too skinny" and revealing his self-harm scars, and feels uncomfortable shirtless.

So, when he is ready to get intimate with Nick, these insecurities intensify.

According to Stokes, trauma and body dysmorphia can impact a person's ability to connect during sex.

"Sex and relationships require a level of vulnerability that can sometimes feel threatening to someone who has trauma and body dysmorphia," Stokes says. "Someone who has trauma and body dysmorphia can struggle with being naked, uncomfortable with a certain level of touch, being touched in certain areas of their body."

Clearly communicating what feels good and what does not is imperative, Stokes adds.

While not everyone's journey will evolve as quickly as Charlie's, Tanner says Netflix handled his dysmorphia well.

"'Heartstopper tackled these nuances in its portrayal of Charlie’s dysmorphia, depicting Charlie as experiencing a high sex drive while simultaneously grappling with negative internal voices about his body," she says. "Becoming sexually active will inevitably come with some trial and error, but we can equip teens to minimize harm by centering consent in any depictions of sexuality."